Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize