Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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