And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm getting married
To pizza
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
