im having a threesome with these popsicles
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
