maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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