Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
