i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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