me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
