I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
