So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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