I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I CAN MOONWALK!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
