i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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