p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
