I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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