I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize