i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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