i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
