so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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