I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
