I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
