i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
