May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Bring me that man meat
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
