who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
