yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
