I love black thongs
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
