Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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