capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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