i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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