the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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