Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
