I hate your face
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
