Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
