So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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