She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
