Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My cat gives me a boner
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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