Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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