I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
