Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
