yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
