my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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