So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
