am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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