How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
