I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize