he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
