So drunk its hurt
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
love makes seman taste better
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
