You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize