As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
