I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
