"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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