its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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