My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
