Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize
