I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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