Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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