That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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