Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
