Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
