I wish I could teleport
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
