oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
