My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
