Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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